Manchester City 2011 Player Awards - LTGN Edition.

Everyone else is having an award ceremony, so why shouldn’t we?  Live and direct from the back bar of Mary D’s, MCFCForum proudly brings you its LTGN : Manchester City Men of 2011. Enjoy…

The Ali Bernarbia Award For The Most Valuable Player
 

The nominations include: Nigel de Jong, Vincent Kompany, Pablo Zabaleta, Joleon Lescott, David Silva, Sergio Aguero, James Milner. Each could say they have an argument.

Nige perhaps did his best work last season rather than this, and has had a rather slow return from injury, combined with becoming out of favour with Bobby. However, he never lets us down. Vinnie too could be arguably said to have played better last season than this. However, he’s a warrior and our undoubted leader and bleeds City. As does Zaba – the only thing preventing him from winning this award hands down is the fact that Bobby hardly ever picks him nowadays - but look who he trusts in the big games. Sergio is already a legend but perhaps hasn’t been with us quite long enough to merit winning it. Jimmy has been fantastic but in fits and spurts. Lescott is certainly our most improved player, but is he our MVP? Silva has been a tremendous asset to the club and the team, whom we could not do without. A magician in the Bernarbia mode. But he’s not the winner.

No, there can only be one winner: Stoic in the face of much criticism, he has added class and steel to his efficiency and consistency and really stands out as a must-pick every week. So the award goes to GARETH BARRY.

The Laurent Charvet Award For The Least Valuable Player
 

Some notable wastes of space this year, in spite of our relative success: Michael Johnson, Kolo Toure, Carlos Tevez, Roque Santa Cruz, Adebayor.

Johnson will never be fit again ever – sadly. Kolo is a total moaner who we need to sell quickly. I don’t believe the denials of his French media interviews: this is a man who thinks City owe him and wants out if he is not playing. And speaking of whom: Tevez merits no further discussion. Case closed. Roque: nice guy, can’t play football. Adebyor: neither - and ungrateful for the respct we showed him when the Togo bus was attacked.

No, there is only one winner: apparently he doesn’t play golf but does a nice line in Saturday afternoon shopping with various (deluded or moneygrabbing) girlfriends. Bobby’s finally busted him but despite his rebuffs in the press this guy doesn’t give a toss. So the award goes to WAYNE BRIDGE.

The George Weah Award For The Most Hollywood Player
 

As we are now a ‘big club’ we have some amazingly self-obsessed and vain players. But perhaps less than a lot of teams. Who would want Terry, Lampard, Cole, Gerrard, Ferdinand and all those overpaid, squalid, two-faced pillocks who people the England team?

Nominations would include Mario, who has his good and bad side – did you see his so-called ‘Xmas Video’ on the club’s website, where he really couldn’t be bothered to engage in any kind of Xmas message to the fans. Johnson too has his diva moments – totally unjustified. For sheer self-love, hair gel and Youtube appearances in his underpants, Joe Hart must come close. Bellamy has also been a spectacularly self-centred individual, better away from us than with us.

No, there can be only one winner: whose entire saga has been played out in – and using - the media. Here is a man whose personal profile with City fans one year ago would have put him up there with Colin Bell and Marc Vivien Foe. In the course of that year he has managed to use the media (and his own abominable attitude) to turn every City fan in the world against him – and in the meantime probably irrevocably damage his own career out of sheer greed and self-interest. The award can only go to CARLOS TEVEZ.

The Mario Balotelli Award For Services To The Community
 

On the other side of the coin is that many of the above players have shown real personal kindness to fans away from the media glare. And more: Clichy, Sergio, Barry, Nige, The Wardrobe and Vinny have all shown themselves as genuinely interested in the fans’ perspective and in life outside the football bubble.

But here, there are no other nominees - be it getting arrested in Moss Side; helping out hobos on the way home from the casino with Chris Samba; working in soup kitchens; visiting womens’ prisons; pissing off the population of Alderley Edge (I’d call that a public service) or the alleged Santa-in-a-Range-Rover Xmas generosity – there can only be one winner, as wonderful as a person as he is as a footballer. The award can only go to its own sponsor: MARIO BALOTELLI.

The Manchester City Team Of 2011
 

Everyone here is going to have their own opinions. I’m not saying this constitutes a balanced ‘team’ – just the 11 best players of 2011 on the strength of their performances in the calendar year:

Joe Hart
Pablo Zabaleta
Gael Clichy
Joleon Lescott
Vincent Kompany ©
Gareth Barry
Nigel de Jong
James Milner
Sergio Aguero
David Silva
Mario Balotelli

Don’t agree? Post yours below…