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The Blue Prawn Sandwich

BPSThe Blue Prawn Sandwich is Lucky To Get Nil's alter-ego. From the Milton Keynes area, he's a 'nouveau,' post Sheikh glory-hunter who - on the face of it - knows nothing about football. He can't even remember the players' names. But for such an idiot, he is surprisingly 'savant.' Because he is so stupid, he seems to ask the questions and say the things others - because of blind faith, political correctness or just plain ignorance - don't ask.

He doesn't care what you think of him because he doesn't understand football in its 'traditional' sense. He actually prefers it on TV. There are thousands- hundreds of thousands - of people like him, recruited as the Premier League goes 'global'. He is the future - however scary that might be. Read on...

Benny Hill

HiIIYYYYAAAAA!!!!!

WHAT a day! Started off getting my nails done, then champagne cocktails in Cloud 23. Nice.

Got my swag on and toddled off to Etihad Road to see the sights. Can't be bothered with those silly Academic boys they want us to watch - put that match on at a time the average person is AWAKE and you might get a crowd!!!!

Anyway, ASDA's got better archtecture - LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

But WHO KNEW what entertainment the ACTUAL GAME would provide!!!! Honest to goodness, I haven't had such a good time since Lady Gaga at the Embassy Club!!! (Yes they were a difficult crowd but even in Harpurhey one finds the occasional feather boa!!!!)

ANNNYYYYWAYYYY!!!!

Discuss this article in the forums (36 replies).

bisu dirty window pic5 closeshotHIIIIYYYAAAA!!!

Well, finally the madness is finished!!! I protected the man and the sandwich that I am today, taking all the responsibility of the situation… and I am very happy with myself to have taken such an important decision.....

Yesss!!! I chose to accessorise my new iPhone 6 in a MCFC-themed rhinestone and mother-of pearl cover.

BLINGALICIOUSSS!!!!

Well... I had to get serious and ready for the new season, now that silly transfer 'window' seems to be shut!!! 

AND WHAT A WINDOW!!!!

Discuss this article in the forums (13 replies).

urinal-etiquette

HIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!

Just LURVIN' the new acetastinmotivatin etc 'City Experience' - except it doesn't QUITE seem to be happening on the pitch!

OOOOOOOPPS!!!

OHHH WELLLLL!!!!

So what -  if you don't like what is going on for real, you can now WATCH IT ON TV!!!!!!!!!

Discuss this article in the forums (10 replies).

Gucci-Bags-21HIIIIYYYAAAAA!!!!!

Well, here we are again, back at little old Etihad Road, for another lipsmackin' thirstquenchin' acetastin' motivatin' goodbuzzin' cooltalkin' highwalkin' fastlivin' evergivin' coolfizzin' CITEH season!

Got your season ticket yet? I have!!! Managed to open the packet yet? I HAVEN'T!!!! 

Actually, I'm joshing but it took a while until I realised that it was like one of those old-fashioned matchboxes that slides out at both sides: not something I'm used to seeing happen, you understand!!!

ANYWAYYYY.... 

Mine also came with my 'personalised' photo on the back (when I could finally find one that fitted the space without cutting peoples's heads off) and that lovely Gucci bag thing they now include for you to put your ticket in. A fair few heffers bit the dust in the making of those, I can tell you!!!

Discuss this article in the forums (11 replies).

The Seventh Seal : A Personification of Death

In The Seventh Seal, a Swedish film set during the Black Death in 1348, a knight plays a game of chess with the personification of Death, who has come to take his life. The knight is one messed up dude, whose life has been devoid of meaning, yet wants to the very end, to perform 'one meaningful deed.' 

But the knight is thwarted. Death plays the game to the final whistle and in the 95th minute of Fergietime, manages an Owenesque tap-in at the far post. This is, as Tarantino might put it, 'some mediaeval shit.' 

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